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Funny Alcohol Quotes

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Text Quotes
I’m playing a new drinking game. It’s called Everytime I’m Depressed I Take A Drink. That game exists, it’s called alcoholism  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) For the first time, in a very long time, she was truly happy. Then she remembered, she was drunk  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) I save my carbs for wine. It's called having priorities  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) So who is this “moderation” everyone keeps telling me to drink with?  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Is this a dream? No. I thought not. If it were, there’d be rum  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) I’m trying to get into the holiday spirits... but the damn bottle won’t open  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Water.... I'm thirsty not dirty  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) I don't want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Keeping one's guests supplied with liquor is the first law of hospitality  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade - and then try to find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Everything in moderation, including moderation  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off  (Funny Alcohol Quotes) Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully  (Funny Alcohol Quotes)
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