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Funniest Quotes Ever

Having you in my life made everything better
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I like me a little bit more when i'm with you
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary
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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
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Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely
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Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want
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Expectation. Reality  (Funniest Quotes Ever) You had one job  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Nailed it  (Funniest Quotes Ever) When all else fails take a nap  (Funniest Quotes Ever) So close, yet so far away  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Only dead fish go with the flow  (Funniest Quotes Ever) I have so much to do that I'm going to bed  (Funniest Quotes Ever) I do not fail. I succeed in finding out what does not work  (Funniest Quotes Ever) My wife and i were happy for 20 years. Then we met  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Life is hard. It's harder if your stupid  (Funniest Quotes Ever) You idiot! I’m sure you’re right, but why?  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now  (Funniest Quotes Ever) I Child-Proofed My House But They Still Get In  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Quick. My wife is coming!  (Funniest Quotes Ever) No one told him that he can breathe underwater  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Oh, my God. He’s online. Can he see me?  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Instagram is down, just describe your lunch to me  (Funniest Quotes Ever) I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Me before I get ready in the morning  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Why fall in love when you can fall asleep  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Ohhh guuurl. That top... with those shoes?  (Funniest Quotes Ever) When mom is alone with the baby. When dad is alone with the baby  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Me. Internet. Life goals  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Get well soon! I can only be nice for so long  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Boyfriend says “Excuse Me” to girl in club. “How is she??”  (Funniest Quotes Ever) I did absolutely nothing all day, and it was everything I thought it would be  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Buy a weeks worth of food. Get some fast food on the way home  (Funniest Quotes Ever) Chocolate makes your clothes shrink  (Funniest Quotes Ever)
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