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Fred Allen Quotes

She used to be a teacher but she has no class now Picture Quote #1

There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes Picture Quote #1

I’m going to Boston to see my doctor. He’s a very sick man Picture Quote #1

Hollywood is a great place if you’re an orange Picture Quote #1

On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents Picture Quote #1

The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies’ Home JournalI’d rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four Picture Quote #1

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The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference Picture Quote #1

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion Picture Quote #1

If the grass is greener in the other fellow’s yard- let him worry about cutting it Picture Quote #1

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap Picture Quote #1

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand Picture Quote #1

He has no idea what it was like to grow up in the South, where you had to hold your head down Picture Quote #1

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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it Picture Quote #1

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission Picture Quote #1

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange Picture Quote #1

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me Picture Quote #1

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense Picture Quote #1

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare Picture Quote #1

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A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on Picture Quote #1

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer Picture Quote #1

California is a great place to live if you're an orange Picture Quote #1

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent Picture Quote #1

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars Picture Quote #1

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin Picture Quote #1

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I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement Picture Quote #1

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy Picture Quote #1

If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race Picture Quote #1

Imitation is the sincerest form of television Picture Quote #1

My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama Picture Quote #1

Television is the triumph of machine over people Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

She used to be a teacher but she has no class now (Fred Allen Quotes) There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes (Fred Allen Quotes) I’m going to Boston to see my doctor. He’s a very sick man. (Fred Allen Quotes) Hollywood is a great place if you’re an orange (Fred Allen Quotes) On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents (Fred Allen Quotes) The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies’ Home JournalI’d rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four (Fred Allen Quotes) The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference. (Fred Allen Quotes) The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion (Fred Allen Quotes) If the grass is greener in the other fellow’s yard- let him worry about cutting it (Fred Allen Quotes) I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap (Fred Allen Quotes) The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand (Fred Allen Quotes) He has no idea what it was like to grow up in the South, where you had to hold your head down (Fred Allen Quotes) All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it (Fred Allen Quotes) An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission (Fred Allen Quotes) California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange (Fred Allen Quotes) I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me (Fred Allen Quotes) My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense (Fred Allen Quotes) Television is a medium because anything well done is rare (Fred Allen Quotes) A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on (Fred Allen Quotes) An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer (Fred Allen Quotes) California is a great place to live if you're an orange (Fred Allen Quotes) Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent (Fred Allen Quotes) Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars (Fred Allen Quotes) I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin (Fred Allen Quotes) I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement (Fred Allen Quotes) I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy (Fred Allen Quotes) If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race (Fred Allen Quotes) Imitation is the sincerest form of television (Fred Allen Quotes) My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama (Fred Allen Quotes) Television is the triumph of machine over people (Fred Allen Quotes)

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