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Florence King Quotes

If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
A year from now you'll wish you started today - Work Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary - Work Quotes
You had me at hello - Love Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
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Text Quotes
No matter which sex I went to bed with, I never smoked on the street  (Florence King Quotes) I simply like guns because you can’t shoot people without them  (Florence King Quotes) Never look on the bright side. The glare is blinding.  (Florence King Quotes) In the South, Sunday morning sex is accompanied by church bells  (Florence King Quotes) In its purest sense, nicknaming is an elitist ritual practiced by those who cherish hierarchy. For preppies it’s a smoke signal that allows Bunny to tell Pooky that they belong to the same tribe, while among the good old boys it serves the cause of masculine dominance by identifying Bear and Wrecker as Alpha males  (Florence King Quotes) Let’s bring back grandmothers! A real family consists of three generations. It’s time Americans stopped worrying about interference and being a burden on the children and regrouped under one roof  (Florence King Quotes) Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor. Humor inspires sympathetic good-natured laughter and is favored by the healing-power gang. Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it’s the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down  (Florence King Quotes) Any hope that America would finally grow up vanished with the rise of fundamentalist Christianity. Fundamentalism, with its born-again regression, its pink-and-gold concept of heaven, its literal-mindedness, its rambunctious good cheer... its anti-intellectualism... its puerile hymns... and its faith-healing... are made to order for King Kid America  (Florence King Quotes) People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they’re all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error  (Florence King Quotes) America is not a democracy, it’s an absolute monarchy ruled by King Kid. In a nation of immigrants, the child is automatically more of an American than his parents. Americans regard children as what Mr. Hudson in Upstairs, Downstairs called betters. Aping their betters, American adults do their best to turn themselves into children. Puerility exercises droit de seigneur everywhere  (Florence King Quotes) The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners  (Florence King Quotes) Owning your own home is America’s unique recipe for avoiding revolution and promoting pseudo-equality at the same time. To keep citizens puttering in their yards instead of sputtering on the barricades, the government has gladly deprived itself of billions in tax revenues by letting home owners deduct mortgage interest payments  (Florence King Quotes) Self-help books are making life downright unsafe. Women desperate to catch a man practice all the ploys recommended by these authors. Bump into him, trip over him, knock him down, spill something on him, scald him, but meet him  (Florence King Quotes) To achieve the very pinnacle of good taste, the neoclassicists wrote their plays entirely in alexandrine verse, a rarefied meter that is uniquely tailored to the French language and fits no other.  (Florence King Quotes) It’s the Government’s job to print the money, deliver the mail and declare war. Now give me my cigarettes  (Florence King Quotes) Children have no business expressing opinions on anything except Do you have enough room in the toes?  (Florence King Quotes) Owning your own home is America’s unique recipe for avoiding revolution and promoting pseudo-equality at the same time.  (Florence King Quotes) Learn to spot and avoid writer groupies. The writer’s self-sufficiency and our love for our work tend to attract insecure people who never can get enough love. They grow jealous of our work and come to regard it as a rival. These people can destroy you, so kick them out of your life or don’t admit them in the first place.  (Florence King Quotes) America is the only country in the world where you can suffer culture shock without leaving home  (Florence King Quotes) Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it’s the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.  (Florence King Quotes) Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker’s already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.  (Florence King Quotes) Real feminism is spinsterhood. It’s time America admitted that old maids give all women a good name  (Florence King Quotes) To me, elitism means a love of excellence and superiority, but America has declared war on both and developed a sick love of the lowest common denominator to make sure no-one becomes too fine for our touted democracy. We are almost at the point of regarding every virtue as elitist  (Florence King Quotes) To a Southerner it is faux pas, not sins, that matter in this world  (Florence King Quotes) Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism  (Florence King Quotes) I simply like guns because you can’t shoot people without them  (Florence King Quotes) Kings and queens might do wicked things, but they don’t nag. One thing I like about Bloody Mary: she never said a word about lung cancer.  (Florence King Quotes) Judge not, lest ye be judged judgmental  (Florence King Quotes) I don’t suffer fools, and I like to see fools suffer  (Florence King Quotes) I do believe in reincarnation, but I do not believe there is life before noon  (Florence King Quotes)
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