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Felipe Esparza Quotes

I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
Text Quotes
A real woman needs quotes by dead men to get through the day  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) You know you’re getting older when your haters now want to kill you  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) If you have a fat brother or sister you might be American  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) Wrestling is only gay when you make eye contact  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) I love my dad. He used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico. So it was cool growing up with him, because when he hit us, he didn’t really hit us  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I’m terrorist  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) I don’t know any skinny people who bully fat people. I just know skinny people who use fat people for rides.  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, ‘Damn, that TV has 500 channels.’ When I got older, it didn’t have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees.  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) Why go to France when you can smell the same people in coffee shops here in America  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) I used to sell marijuana to my son’s mom’s new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) We have chemical weapons in America too, they’re called meth and cocaine  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) My dad was one of those dads that would make me stop crying by threatening to beat me  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) I’ve got three women in my life: my mama, ex baby mama and my new baby mama  (Felipe Esparza Quotes) I know I’m getting older because yesterday I called the police on my neighbors  (Felipe Esparza Quotes)