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Erma Bombeck Quotes

Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children Picture Quote #1

With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane Picture Quote #1

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood Picture Quote #1

Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn’t want our daughter to marry one Picture Quote #1

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead Picture Quote #1

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative Mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am Picture Quote #1

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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead Picture Quote #1

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me' Picture Quote #1

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her Picture Quote #1

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated Picture Quote #1

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one Picture Quote #1

We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings Picture Quote #1

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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence Picture Quote #1

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them Picture Quote #1

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you Picture Quote #1

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments Picture Quote #1

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it Picture Quote #1

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it Picture Quote #1

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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex Picture Quote #1

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes Picture Quote #1

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding Picture Quote #1

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial Picture Quote #1

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car Picture Quote #1

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go Picture Quote #1

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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is Picture Quote #1

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found it's way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago Picture Quote #1

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother Picture Quote #1

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub Picture Quote #1

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday Picture Quote #1

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children (Erma Bombeck Quotes) With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn’t want our daughter to marry one (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead (Erma Bombeck Quotes) As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative Mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am (Erma Bombeck Quotes) If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead (Erma Bombeck Quotes) When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me' (Erma Bombeck Quotes) As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated (Erma Bombeck Quotes) The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one (Erma Bombeck Quotes) We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence (Erma Bombeck Quotes) All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes (Erma Bombeck Quotes) It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial (Erma Bombeck Quotes) My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go (Erma Bombeck Quotes) One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found it's way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub (Erma Bombeck Quotes) A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday (Erma Bombeck Quotes) It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows (Erma Bombeck Quotes)

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