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Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want - Funny Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
Don't look back you're not going that way - Inspirational Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
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Text Quotes
I don’t think I remember my first memory  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Just go up to somebody on the street and say ‘You’re it!’ and then run away  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I don’t understand the sizes anymore. There’s a size zero, which I didn’t even know that they had. It must stand for: ‘Ohhh my God, you’re thin.’  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I was raised in an atmosphere of ‘everything’s fine.’ But as I got older, I was like, ‘Well no, everything’s not fine. There is stuff that’s sad.’ I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they’re usually somebody’s. You know, I’m not wearing Kmart  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson’s show. Only now I use it as a tablecloth at dinner parties. It was very blousy  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) People love their animals so much so that they put little clothes on them and necklaces and booties and things like that. And if you love your animal, then you should feed them something that’s not dangerous for them. There’s a lot of poisonous stuff that they’re putting in a lot of that food, those by-products  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called ‘Changing the Inner Dialogue of Your Subconscious Mind.’ I’d never been to anything like it before, and all my friends were taking bets on how long I’d last with no TV, no radio, no phone. But for me that was the beginning of paying attention to all the little things  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) The only thing I really recommend, if you’re starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anybody else. You can be influenced by people. I was influenced by Steve Martin and Bob Newhart and Woody Allen, but I never tried to be someone else. I always tried to be myself. And the reason people are successful is they’re unique  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I collect old portraits. They’re all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of wonder who they were and what they were. There’s a guy - I don’t know who he is, but he’s wearing a suit. He’s got his arms folded, and he looks like he sold insurance or something. I’m just wondering why someone painted him  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I do have ADD and in real life, I’m all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking for, for more than an hour or so, I’d start drifting off... I can’t sit still too long  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom’s not, and I’m not. But I believe in God, and that there’s a higher power and an intelligence that’s bigger than us and that we can rely on. It’s not just us, thinking we are the ones in control of everything. That idea gives me support  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Our attention span is shot. We’ve all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don’t have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - Too Busy Disorder  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn’t done anything? They should use prisoners who have been convicted of murder or rape instead. So, rather than seeing if perfume irritates a bunny rabbit’s eyes, they should throw it in Charles Manson’s eyes and ask him if it hurts  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it’s different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don’t worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) You’re never too old to play. You’re only too old for low-rise jeans  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I’m not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it’s clear. It’s Jared Leto. I mean, he’s the prettiest. Boy is he pretty  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I personally chose to go vegan because I educated myself on factory farming and cruelty to animals, and I suddenly realized that what was on my plate were living things, with feelings. And I just couldn’t disconnect myself from it any longer. I read books like ‘Diet for a New America’ and saw documentaries like ‘Earthlings’ and ‘Meet your Meat,’ and it became an easy choice for me  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Honestly, we’d probably be great parents. But it’s a human being, and unless you think you have excellent skills and have a drive or yearning in you to do that, the amount of work that that is and responsibility - I wouldn’t want to screw them up! We love our animals  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday  (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes)
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