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Eddie Izzard Quotes

I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for the people in Bible Picture Quote #1

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it? Picture Quote #1

Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up! Picture Quote #1

When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people Picture Quote #1

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun) Picture Quote #1

There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it? Picture Quote #1

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And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way Picture Quote #1

Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish Picture Quote #1

We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers Picture Quote #1

I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there! Picture Quote #1

I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever Picture Quote #1

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don’t deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don’t even notice that that’s the thing Picture Quote #1

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This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight... one, from... here to there. We’ll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve and a half feet if we see anything big. And our copilot today is a flask of coffee Picture Quote #1

I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Cause if a woman falls over wearing heels, that’s embarrassing. But if a bloke falls over wearing heels, you have to kill yourself. It’s the end of your life Picture Quote #1

You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe Picture Quote #1

Learning that you have stamina is an excellent thing to know. If a project fails, I know I can pick myself up Picture Quote #1

If you’re a performer, people tend to be quite positive about you or they have no opinion Picture Quote #1

Drama is a complete meal, vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates. It’s a slow burn thing. It’s got an arc. Comedy is more like coke Picture Quote #1

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The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you’re not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you Picture Quote #1

If you’ve never seen an elephant ski, then you’ve never been on acid Picture Quote #1

As long as they’re homophobic behind closed doors, and don’t hurt anyone, I’m fine with it Picture Quote #1

So … uh … I’d better explain the tits. Um … didn’t have those at school. Wanted to, but not in the school curriculum … even though I asked Picture Quote #1

So I’ve learnt that the world is 4, 500 million years old. If you’re very religious, then it’s not 4, 500 million years old, it’s 6,000 years old. One of these is not correct Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for the people in Bible (Eddie Izzard Quotes) That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it? (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up! (Eddie Izzard Quotes) When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun) (Eddie Izzard Quotes) There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it? (Eddie Izzard Quotes) And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish (Eddie Izzard Quotes) We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there! (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don’t deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don’t even notice that that’s the thing (Eddie Izzard Quotes) This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight... one, from... here to there. We’ll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve and a half feet if we see anything big. And our copilot today is a flask of coffee (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Cause if a woman falls over wearing heels, that’s embarrassing. But if a bloke falls over wearing heels, you have to kill yourself. It’s the end of your life (Eddie Izzard Quotes) You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Learning that you have stamina is an excellent thing to know. If a project fails, I know I can pick myself up (Eddie Izzard Quotes) If you’re a performer, people tend to be quite positive about you or they have no opinion (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Drama is a complete meal, vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates. It’s a slow burn thing. It’s got an arc. Comedy is more like coke (Eddie Izzard Quotes) The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you’re not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you (Eddie Izzard Quotes) If you’ve never seen an elephant ski, then you’ve never been on acid (Eddie Izzard Quotes) As long as they’re homophobic behind closed doors, and don’t hurt anyone, I’m fine with it (Eddie Izzard Quotes) So … uh … I’d better explain the tits. Um … didn’t have those at school. Wanted to, but not in the school curriculum … even though I asked (Eddie Izzard Quotes) So I’ve learnt that the world is 4, 500 million years old. If you’re very religious, then it’s not 4, 500 million years old, it’s 6,000 years old. One of these is not correct (Eddie Izzard Quotes)

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