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Doug Stanhope Quotes

Having you in my life made everything better - Love Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde Quotes
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her - Marilyn Monroe Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
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Text Quotes
If you’re in high-school and you’re not having fun, quit  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Sex is free fun for poor people  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Life is like animal porn, it’s not for everyone  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) I’m gonna film my entire life and watch it later!  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) If I die soon, don’t ever say I died too young  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) People hate people just cause they want someone different to hate  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) That’s why cocaine is illegal - it makes pussy too easy to get  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Life’s temporary for a reason; it gets boring after a while  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Your instinct is your true God. Follow it.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) There’s a fine line between being a sicko and an adventurous spirit  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) I’ve had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I’m glad I got a hooker last night.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) I’ve been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) I love conspiracy theories. I used to just live on it. You know it’s all hype and garbage, but you’re still really paranoid afterwards. It’s fun entertainment.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Statistical high Vegas odds probability is that nothing of any significance will ever happen to you in your entire boring life.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) I don’t like life that much. It’s not that big a deal for me... I don’t want to know I have cancer till it’s visible to the naked eye.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) The revolution I was starting where I thought I could yell at 200 people in a bar every night and change the world didn’t quite happen.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) The catholic church has a lot more money than any Colombian cartel and they leave a lot more bodies in their wake.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Separation of Church and State is the perineum of America and the episiotomy didn’t hold  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let’s try to speed it up... there are too many people.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Some people just join the military because they need college money. Then they’re idiots and college wasn’t going to help.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Invent new drugs, that’s what you should be doing... fight to get new weirder ones... and weirder establishments to do them in.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) There’s only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) I do good things in my life, too. It’s just that none of them are funny.  (Doug Stanhope Quotes) Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don’t want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual, natural desire and the last thing they want to do is believe that it has any detrimental side, or if they do believe it, they think it’s different for them because they live in a gated community or whatever the reason...  (Doug Stanhope Quotes)
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