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David Letterman Quotes

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home Picture Quote #1

Don’t use your bedroom for work, unless you’re a prostitute Picture Quote #1

This isn’t brain surgery; it’s just television Picture Quote #1

Bring Your Child to Work Day -- that’s how we got George W. Bush Picture Quote #1

What a day. It’s 53 and gloomy - like President Obama Picture Quote #1

Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie Picture Quote #1

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Life experience is the best teacher Picture Quote #1

Love: You can’t start it like a car, you can’t stop it with a gun Picture Quote #1

I’ve had nothing but great friendship to help me through this Picture Quote #1

How long have you been a black man? Picture Quote #1

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, ‘I’ve got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.’ Yeah, that’s always the sign of a man in good health, isn’t it? Picture Quote #1

Don’t forget it’s daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It’s like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed Picture Quote #1

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Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees Picture Quote #1

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I’m thinking, well, hell, he didn’t need the approval of the American voters to become president, either Picture Quote #1

All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It’s a horrible lot in life Picture Quote #1

My political position is that I’m happy to be alive and in North America Picture Quote #1

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, france wants more evidence. and you know I’m thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag Picture Quote #1

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Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That’s bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel Picture Quote #1

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don’t know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode? Picture Quote #1

New York... When civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you Picture Quote #1

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it’s live. You know, it’s like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney Picture Quote #1

People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine Picture Quote #1

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can’t pronounce Schwarzenegger Picture Quote #1

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President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind? Picture Quote #1

The weather here is gorgeous. It’s mild and feels like it’s in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts Picture Quote #1

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours Picture Quote #1

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. and, he’s also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets Picture Quote #1

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton’s expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it’s been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector Picture Quote #1

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I’m telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home (David Letterman Quotes) Don’t use your bedroom for work, unless you’re a prostitute (David Letterman Quotes) This isn’t brain surgery; it’s just television (David Letterman Quotes) Bring Your Child to Work Day -- that’s how we got George W. Bush (David Letterman Quotes) What a day. It’s 53 and gloomy - like President Obama (David Letterman Quotes) Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie (David Letterman Quotes) Life experience is the best teacher (David Letterman Quotes) Love: You can’t start it like a car, you can’t stop it with a gun (David Letterman Quotes) I’ve had nothing but great friendship to help me through this (David Letterman Quotes) How long have you been a black man? (David Letterman Quotes) Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, ‘I’ve got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.’ Yeah, that’s always the sign of a man in good health, isn’t it? (David Letterman Quotes) Don’t forget it’s daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It’s like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed (David Letterman Quotes) Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees (David Letterman Quotes) President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I’m thinking, well, hell, he didn’t need the approval of the American voters to become president, either (David Letterman Quotes) All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It’s a horrible lot in life (David Letterman Quotes) My political position is that I’m happy to be alive and in North America (David Letterman Quotes) A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, france wants more evidence. and you know I’m thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag (David Letterman Quotes) Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It’s all part of Woody’s plan to grow his own wives (David Letterman Quotes) Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That’s bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel (David Letterman Quotes) Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don’t know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode? (David Letterman Quotes) New York... When civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you (David Letterman Quotes) No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it’s live. You know, it’s like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney (David Letterman Quotes) People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine (David Letterman Quotes) President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can’t pronounce Schwarzenegger (David Letterman Quotes) President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind? (David Letterman Quotes) The weather here is gorgeous. It’s mild and feels like it’s in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts (David Letterman Quotes) We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours (David Letterman Quotes) We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. and, he’s also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets (David Letterman Quotes) We make a lot of fun at President Clinton’s expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it’s been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector (David Letterman Quotes) Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I’m telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton (David Letterman Quotes)

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