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David Letterman Quotes

You had me at hello - Love Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home  (David Letterman Quotes) Don’t use your bedroom for work, unless you’re a prostitute  (David Letterman Quotes) This isn’t brain surgery; it’s just television  (David Letterman Quotes) Bring Your Child to Work Day -- that’s how we got George W. Bush  (David Letterman Quotes) What a day. It’s 53 and gloomy - like President Obama  (David Letterman Quotes) Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie  (David Letterman Quotes) Life experience is the best teacher  (David Letterman Quotes) This isn’t brain surgery; it’s just television  (David Letterman Quotes) Love: You can’t start it like a car, you can’t stop it with a gun  (David Letterman Quotes) I’ve had nothing but great friendship to help me through this  (David Letterman Quotes) How long have you been a black man?  (David Letterman Quotes) Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, ‘I’ve got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.’ Yeah, that’s always the sign of a man in good health, isn’t it?  (David Letterman Quotes) Don’t forget it’s daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It’s like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed  (David Letterman Quotes) Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees  (David Letterman Quotes) President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I’m thinking, well, hell, he didn’t need the approval of the American voters to become president, either  (David Letterman Quotes) All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It’s a horrible lot in life  (David Letterman Quotes) My political position is that I’m happy to be alive and in North America  (David Letterman Quotes) A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, france wants more evidence. and you know I’m thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag  (David Letterman Quotes) Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It’s all part of Woody’s plan to grow his own wives  (David Letterman Quotes) Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That’s bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel  (David Letterman Quotes) Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don’t know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?  (David Letterman Quotes) New York... When civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you  (David Letterman Quotes) No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it’s live. You know, it’s like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney  (David Letterman Quotes) People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine  (David Letterman Quotes) President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can’t pronounce Schwarzenegger  (David Letterman Quotes) President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?  (David Letterman Quotes) The weather here is gorgeous. It’s mild and feels like it’s in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts  (David Letterman Quotes) We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours  (David Letterman Quotes) We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. and, he’s also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets  (David Letterman Quotes) We make a lot of fun at President Clinton’s expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it’s been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector  (David Letterman Quotes)
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