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Daniel Tosh Quotes

And then you meet one person and your life changes forever - Love Quotes
When I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew - William Shakespeare Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
Having you in my life made everything better - Love Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting; freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I’m sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they’re clearly sixes at best.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You’re gonna have to work. Yep.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Here’s a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Now it’s time for amasians... That’s Asians doing something amazing.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I’m not honest, but you’re interesting!  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) You are a sick freak who should be beaten  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) If no meant no then every man would die a virgin  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) It’s not a stereotype if it’s always true  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I don’t know, maybe I’m immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she’s in the shower  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I don’t want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I’m happy, or at least I look like it  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That’s when you throw change on sluts  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I’m actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You’re gonna have to work. Yep  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they’d taste like their ethnic background?  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Here’s a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I don’t know why I get away with some things. But I’m not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It’s beyond my comprehension  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I’m fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked. Not getting any cavities  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) You know your girlfriend is too young when she’ll do everything in bed but go upside down because it’s too scary  (Daniel Tosh Quotes)
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