HOME POPULAR Love Life Inspiration Motivation Funny Friendship Family Faith Happy Hurt Sad Cute Success Wisdom ALL TOPICS Animals Art Attitude Beauty Business Birthdays Dreams Facts Fitness Food Forgiving Miss You Nature Peace Smile So True Sports Teenage Trust Movie TV Weddings More.. AUTHORS Einstein Plato Aristotle Twain Monroe Jefferson Wilde Carroll Confucius Hepburn Dalai Lama Lewis Lincoln Mandela Lao Tzu Ford More.. Meme Maker University Memes
Follow On Pinterest

Daniel Tosh Quotes

Together is my favorite place to be - Love Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
The darkest nights produce the brightest stars - Motivational Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever - Love Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
1 2 3
Text Quotes
There’s only one thing better than the cutest cat in the world  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Big, skinny, regular size it doesn’t matter as long as your young  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Describe your perfect man who looks like me...  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) At least gays don’t kill babies before their due date  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Germany’s like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I’m not honest, but you’re interesting!  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) The only thing better than the world’s cutest cat is any dog  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I fell asleep watching the country music channel and woke up racist  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Girls can fake orgasms, but boys can fake love  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) You know who makes a great first impression? Liars.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) It’s not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I’m not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That’s my range.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I’m aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) They say money doesn’t buy happiness. That phrase should end with ‘just kidding’.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Much like Down Syndrome, red hair is a genetic mutation, and it occurs when a human has unprotected sex with a clown.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Girls say it’s hard to find nice guys. It’s actually really easy. It’s just all nice guys are ugly.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle’s no. They’re not allowed.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is; if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I don’t want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I’m happy, or at least I look like it.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Even the klan revamped their image by losing the hoods and changing their name to the Tea Party  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) I don’t know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Oh, southern rappers... so hard to write a rhyme when you only know 30 words.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.  (Daniel Tosh Quotes) If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they’d taste like their ethnic background?  (Daniel Tosh Quotes)
1 2 3