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Dane Cook Quotes

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh Picture Quote #1

I don’t have to do anything for anyone else’s benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations Picture Quote #1

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing Picture Quote #1

I’m glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere Picture Quote #1

My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He’s in jail now Picture Quote #1

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was God awful, I thought I’d get into psychology Picture Quote #1

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I don’t know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets Picture Quote #1

I’ve always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that’s why I wanted to do comedy Picture Quote #1

I do try to keep my show very improvisational. I don’t work off a set list; I like to keep it more in the moment. I like to have information about where I’m going, what might be happening in that particular region as well. I like for people to feel like the show is for them Picture Quote #1

I love being on stage if I’m not on a set. If I’m at home, I’m usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I’m ready willing and able to give it a shot Picture Quote #1

When you’re on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone’s stifling their laughter. You’re looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man Picture Quote #1

Here’s how you know that you’re really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time Picture Quote #1

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When you don’t have love, it is like there’s a party going on and everybody was invited except for you... and you just happen to walk by that house in the rain Picture Quote #1

I don’t know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead Picture Quote #1

Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don’t feel a thing when you know you can still win Picture Quote #1

I’m sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show Picture Quote #1

I don’t like people that litter. If you don’t throw a wrapper in the trashcan and you just toss it out on the ground I wanna take you and toss you into outer space Picture Quote #1

The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle Picture Quote #1

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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow Picture Quote #1

A lot of comics are kind of vampire types; we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I’m going to go out there and shake hands Picture Quote #1

Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed! Picture Quote #1

No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it’s the worst... when you think you’re drowning Picture Quote #1

Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come to expect from Jessica Alba Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh (Dane Cook Quotes) I don’t have to do anything for anyone else’s benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations (Dane Cook Quotes) I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing (Dane Cook Quotes) I’m glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere (Dane Cook Quotes) My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He’s in jail now (Dane Cook Quotes) I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was God awful, I thought I’d get into psychology (Dane Cook Quotes) I don’t know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets (Dane Cook Quotes) I’ve always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that’s why I wanted to do comedy (Dane Cook Quotes) I do try to keep my show very improvisational. I don’t work off a set list; I like to keep it more in the moment. I like to have information about where I’m going, what might be happening in that particular region as well. I like for people to feel like the show is for them (Dane Cook Quotes) I love being on stage if I’m not on a set. If I’m at home, I’m usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I’m ready willing and able to give it a shot (Dane Cook Quotes) When you’re on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone’s stifling their laughter. You’re looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man (Dane Cook Quotes) Here’s how you know that you’re really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time (Dane Cook Quotes) When you don’t have love, it is like there’s a party going on and everybody was invited except for you... and you just happen to walk by that house in the rain (Dane Cook Quotes) I don’t know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead (Dane Cook Quotes) Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don’t feel a thing when you know you can still win (Dane Cook Quotes) I’m sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show (Dane Cook Quotes) I don’t like people that litter. If you don’t throw a wrapper in the trashcan and you just toss it out on the ground I wanna take you and toss you into outer space (Dane Cook Quotes) The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle (Dane Cook Quotes) I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow (Dane Cook Quotes) A lot of comics are kind of vampire types; we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I’m going to go out there and shake hands (Dane Cook Quotes) Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed! (Dane Cook Quotes) No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it’s the worst... when you think you’re drowning (Dane Cook Quotes) Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come to expect from Jessica Alba (Dane Cook Quotes)

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