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Daily Show Quotes

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
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And then you meet one person and your life changes forever
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
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I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour
Having you in my life made everything better
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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work
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Text Quotes
Why should I be feeling tension? It’s The Daily Show.  (Daily Show Quotes) Apparently it’s cool to watch The Daily Show  (Daily Show Quotes) The great joy of doing ‘The Daily Show’ for me is that I get to sit on the fence between cultures. I am commenting on the absurdity of both sides as an outsider and insider. Sometimes I’m playing the brown guy, and sometimes I’m not, but the best stuff I do always goes back to being a brown kid in a white world  (Daily Show Quotes) The one show that I will continue to be a guest on is ‘The Daily Show’ with Jon Stewart, if he’ll have me. It’s not competitive with CNN and it’s too much fun.  (Daily Show Quotes) I was a fan of The Daily Show I watched it,I never imagined being on it, but I figured I would just go down there and do my best Stephen Colbert impression.  (Daily Show Quotes) Being a correspondent on ‘The Daily Show’ is some combination of doing a character and doing stand-up. It’s a juggling act to find a balance between being you and playing a role.  (Daily Show Quotes) The Daily Show was an incredible training ground for that kind of thing. It was all about discipline and generating material constantly.  (Daily Show Quotes) I don’t watch much television. Yeah, that’s pretty funny. I don’t know where The Daily Show stand politically, do you?  (Daily Show Quotes) The inked fingers and the position of them, which is gonna be a ‘Daily Show’ photo already, of them signaling in this [Nazi salute] manner, as if they have solidarity with the Iraqis who braved physical threats against their lives to vote as if somehow these inked-fingered Republicans have something to do with that.  (Daily Show Quotes) At first the difference will be in whatever atmosphere I bring into it. It’s not going to be like, ‘I really want to do The Daily Show and I’d love to turn it into an abstract musical.’ I like the format and the chance to satirize the news.  (Daily Show Quotes) I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart’s so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.  (Daily Show Quotes) I get most of my news from the Jon Stewart Daily Show.It’s the most level commentary you can find.You have to laugh, because it’s all so true.It’s the closest thing to a counterculture.  (Daily Show Quotes) The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You’re going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.  (Daily Show Quotes) Charlie Hebdo was and is not The Onion or The Daily Show. This is a different kind of satire. Might I put it this way - less politically correct.  (Daily Show Quotes) I’m not really much of an actor, so when I started on ‘The Daily Show’, I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.  (Daily Show Quotes) Working on The Daily Show, I co-produced all those field segments, and that’s another huge thing.I probably did more than 100 field segments.  (Daily Show Quotes) There’s very little you could do to prepare to be a correspondent on ‘The Daily Show,’ because it’s not being a journalist, it’s not being an actor. It involves elements of both of those things, but they’re not required necessarily as job experience. It’s helpful if you know how to improvise, but again, not a requirement  (Daily Show Quotes) Because I went from the ‘Daily Show’ where I was a fake news guy on a fake news show, to ‘Bruce Almighty’ where I played a news guy, to ‘Anchorman’ where I played a news guy, now I’m... yeah, I tend to gravitate towards suits  (Daily Show Quotes) Welcome to The Daily Show, I’m John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness  (Daily Show Quotes) No, no, no separate but equal... Never the twain shall meet. And the pendulum kept swinging and it came to rest in the bastard hybrid known as the Daily Show  (Daily Show Quotes) Why should I be feeling tension? It’s The Daily Show  (Daily Show Quotes) Apparently it’s cool to watch The Daily Show  (Daily Show Quotes) It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy  (Daily Show Quotes) I get younger people who watch Conan or The Daily Show, but before that it was mostly people who knew me from public radio. Those people are kind of old  (Daily Show Quotes) People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don’t think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor  (Daily Show Quotes) I get most of my news from the Jon Stewart Daily Show. It’s the most level commentary you can find. You have to laugh, because it’s all so true. It’s the closest thing to a counterculture  (Daily Show Quotes) The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You’re going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world  (Daily Show Quotes) I’m kind of a ‘Daily Show,’ Bill Maher junkie. I listen to NPR and I still get the ‘New York Times’ paper delivered to my door, even though I live in L.A  (Daily Show Quotes) People see me on the ‘Daily Show’ or ‘About a Boy’. But the reality is that I only got into this business to do standup comedy  (Daily Show Quotes) Lastly, the ashes left behind, may daily show to move the mind, that to ashes and dust return we must: Then think, and drink tobacco  (Daily Show Quotes)
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