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Christopher Moore Quotes

Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics? Picture Quote #1

Shoes off in the whale! And don’t try and make a break for the anus Picture Quote #1

In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime Picture Quote #1

You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don’t Picture Quote #1

Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell Picture Quote #1

I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on Picture Quote #1

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It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man’s talents with his personality Picture Quote #1

Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt Picture Quote #1

Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say Picture Quote #1

They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs? Picture Quote #1

... as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off Picture Quote #1

Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk Picture Quote #1

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I’m thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or two, take the rest of the week off Picture Quote #1

Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both Picture Quote #1

Most of us don’t live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we’re a whole bunch of selves Picture Quote #1

In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life was just a tangled ball of chaos Picture Quote #1

Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light Picture Quote #1

It’s wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs Picture Quote #1

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That’s the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm Picture Quote #1

It’s very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism Picture Quote #1

Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the mind’s roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to Picture Quote #1

They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions Picture Quote #1

We know there’s going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again Picture Quote #1

Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair Picture Quote #1

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You know, there’s a 12 step program for gambling. You should look into that. Twelve steps. Coyote laughed. I’ll bet I can do it in six Picture Quote #1

Just because he was pretty didn’t mean he couldn’t be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory Picture Quote #1

He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of Picture Quote #1

This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone’s faith; however, if one’s faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do Picture Quote #1

... One time you take a hundred thousand dollars and let a vampire go, the whole world turns on you like you’re some kind of bad guy Picture Quote #1

This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I’m asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men? Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics? (Christopher Moore Quotes) Shoes off in the whale! And don’t try and make a break for the anus (Christopher Moore Quotes) In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime (Christopher Moore Quotes) You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don’t (Christopher Moore Quotes) Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell (Christopher Moore Quotes) I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on (Christopher Moore Quotes) It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man’s talents with his personality (Christopher Moore Quotes) Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt (Christopher Moore Quotes) Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say (Christopher Moore Quotes) They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs? (Christopher Moore Quotes) ... as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off (Christopher Moore Quotes) Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk (Christopher Moore Quotes) I’m thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or two, take the rest of the week off (Christopher Moore Quotes) Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both (Christopher Moore Quotes) Most of us don’t live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we’re a whole bunch of selves (Christopher Moore Quotes) In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life was just a tangled ball of chaos (Christopher Moore Quotes) Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light (Christopher Moore Quotes) It’s wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs (Christopher Moore Quotes) That’s the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm (Christopher Moore Quotes) It’s very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism (Christopher Moore Quotes) Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the mind’s roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to (Christopher Moore Quotes) They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions (Christopher Moore Quotes) We know there’s going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again (Christopher Moore Quotes) Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair (Christopher Moore Quotes) You know, there’s a 12 step program for gambling. You should look into that. Twelve steps. Coyote laughed. I’ll bet I can do it in six (Christopher Moore Quotes) Just because he was pretty didn’t mean he couldn’t be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory (Christopher Moore Quotes) He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of (Christopher Moore Quotes) This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone’s faith; however, if one’s faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do (Christopher Moore Quotes) ... One time you take a hundred thousand dollars and let a vampire go, the whole world turns on you like you’re some kind of bad guy (Christopher Moore Quotes) This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I’m asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men? (Christopher Moore Quotes)

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