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Bob Hope Quotes

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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.  (Bob Hope Quotes) Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he’s not rich enough to be a Republican.  (Bob Hope Quotes) It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded  (Bob Hope Quotes) I can’t understand what’s holding up our missile program. It’s the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers’ money go up in smoke.  (Bob Hope Quotes) One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.  (Bob Hope Quotes) I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.  (Bob Hope Quotes) The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.  (Bob Hope Quotes) As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn’t been touched by the war and blew it to hell.  (Bob Hope Quotes) A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it  (Bob Hope Quotes) Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle  (Bob Hope Quotes) I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105  (Bob Hope Quotes) People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy  (Bob Hope Quotes) Thanks to our brave allies: you gallant Russian bear, you British everywhere  (Bob Hope Quotes) If they liked you, they didn't applaud - they let you live  (Bob Hope Quotes) If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it  (Bob Hope Quotes) The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned  (Bob Hope Quotes) Isn’t it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?  (Bob Hope Quotes) Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning  (Bob Hope Quotes) On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag  (Bob Hope Quotes) A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal  (Bob Hope Quotes) They have a kind of Bob Hope and Bing Crosby thing going on  (Bob Hope Quotes) Bob Hope, Red Skelton, and Eddie Cantor... help us keep our balance  (Bob Hope Quotes) I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there  (Bob Hope Quotes) If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him  (Bob Hope Quotes) If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble  (Bob Hope Quotes) When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness  (Bob Hope Quotes) I was on the way to my hotel, and I passed a hotel going in the opposite direction  (Bob Hope Quotes) Whenever I play with Gerald Ford, I try to make it a foursome the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer  (Bob Hope Quotes) The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake  (Bob Hope Quotes) The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent  (Bob Hope Quotes)
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