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Augusten Burroughs Quotes

Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her - Marilyn Monroe Quotes
Together is my favorite place to be - Love Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes
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Text Quotes
I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) After was better. Before was only there so After could happen.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) What police officer would dare ticket Death’s minivan?  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) But my favorite band is Curbside Life, out of Chicago  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Red hair is great. It’s rare, and therefore superior.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) There’s not enough of me left over  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Never work with children, puppies or bulimics  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day for a month. I was on the masthead, so I tend to get recognized a lot, and in weird places. It’s always flattering, and it’s always odd. It’s always at the worst possible time  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they had, and the level of physical abuse - my mother would beat up my father, basically - and I think I was drawn to images on television that were bright and reflective  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Maybe it was a Patty Hearst thing. Stockholm syndrome or whatever it’s called when you’re being held against your will but then you become sucked in and fall in love. Or if not exactly love, you fall into something you can’t see out of. ‘I can’t shoot a machine gun’ becomes ‘Hey, this hardly has any kick-back!  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) It was like living in a new house. I saw the undersides of tables, walked through the tangle of chair legs. It would be good to be a dog, I thought. You would feel safe surrounded by all of these leggy objects that never tried to run away  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking through a prison cafeteria wearing Daisy Duke shorts and a Jane Fonda headband  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Self-pity is the bestiality of emotions: it absolutely disgusts people. When you’re feeling pity for yourself, and somebody says to you ‘You think maybe it’s time for the pity party to be over? You should stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to think positive,’ it makes you wish you could saw their head off  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I think people tend to see the bigger point, which is maybe not fitting in and feeling like you didn’t have the childhood that you expected you would have, or that you felt lonely or struggled with drugs and alcohol or just that you were able to achieve your dreams  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I tend to really enjoy being swept up in fiction. I love a good story and I admire fiction authors.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) This is what happens when you go against the grain of truth. You get splinters later on.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I’ve overcome a lot - sexual abuse, death of a loved one, bad parents and experienced life. My nature is such I not only survived all this but I have thrived. I’ve always been psychologically ambitious in that I’ve never been willing to settle emotionally for anything less then what’s needed. I’ve wanted more then that from life.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) If I were blind I’d rather have another blind person leading me around because they know what I’m dealing with and they’re experiencing the same things.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I wouldn’t want to waste any of my brain cells on forgiving if it’s holding me back  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I always tried to learn Greek, but all I got out of it was, poulaki mou. [My little chicken.]  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) You must never allow something that happened to you to become a morbidly treasured heirloom that you carry, show people, put back in its black velvet pouch and then tuck back into your jacket where you can keep it close to your heart.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) The dark side of blogging is, of course, people can be (and are) just savage and uncivilized, deeply cruel and fully unaccountable.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I’m grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) So that’s what I’m here to become. And suddenly, this word fills me with a brand of sadness I haven’t felt since childhood. The kind of sadness you feel at the end of summer. When the fireflies are gone, the ponds have dried up and the plants are wilted, weary from being so green.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) If you hate your life, you haven’t’ seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it’s because your life is too small and doesn’t’ fit you.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) There is nothing about MYSELF that I wouldn’t reveal or write about. I don’t care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person or in print. There is great freedom in not caring what other people think.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I couldn’t help but think, This car is taking me to a mental hospital and my mother is treating it like open-mic night at a Greenwich Village café.  (Augusten Burroughs Quotes)
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